Keep Ya Head Up…

Well Keegan being sick has been wearing me pretty thin, since it’s now been over a week. He has meds for the sudden severe ear infection so hopefully normalcy will return to the home.  This morning I woke up in an amazing mood even though my humans kept me up without sleep(I’m now running on about 4 hrs for the past 2 days). Because the amazing baby sitter is coming today so I might have dinner with my girls for a birthday celebration. That’s how us mom’s do a night out! So nothing is getting me down! Until the nuclear warfare of a KeegerButt meltdown occurred at the table. Keegan loves yogurt, so I thought we would try a new soy low sugar yogurt we got him. He nearly sent his head the the wall. He screamed like someone was stabbing him for a good 45 minutes, and I just stood there, flabberghasted. I have started noticing that Keegan trashes the DVDs and tries to knock the 50″ plasma screen down to get my attention, and after he does these things, just like after the horrid tantrum this morning, he needed me to pick him up and be close to him. I’m noticing I’m creating a monster and I don’t know how to stop sadly. I have to reprimand him about the tv, it could squash him. Playing on the stairs, dangerous too. DVDs I ignore now, but it doesn’t stop him yet. I’m trying to get him to use sign with.me, and I know it’s a long process but I’m hoping he picks up on it. Save the house maybe. It’s funny really. I have worked with special needs children for over 14 years which I’m sure I have mentioned. Now I’m a mom to one, and it is a whole new world. I forget all of my background,  and I lose my mind. Some children I have worked with were a bit more difficult than Keegan, but at work I’m stellar, never had a problem and I loved all the kids I have worked with. They made me who I am and I thank my lucky stars to have had such great kids in my life. But we cannot take away that being a mom to a special needs child is DIFFERENT. I’m both so I’m allowed to pass that judgement.  Being a mom to KeegerButt is extremely rewarding and a challenge most of the time, but I will do anything for him or his sister. But going to work and working with these types of kids and checking out at 3:30 is different. I do that, and come home to Keegan and Addy all by myself. I have to thank my parents every day for their help when they can, but I’m in the aspie trenches everyday, fighting for a calmer breakfast, a low sugar alternative to strawberries, a meal that has protein that will actually be eaten and not thrown, all topped with a bed time routine that sometimes makes me consider locking myself in a closet for 5 minutes to scream or breathe. So my rant went a little off topic, but hey! I feel better! And I also have learned that it’s never ok to judge a parent, especially one of a Super Human like Keegan. We all wear a very special badge of honor and we hope someday that people will understand even just a small portion more. But in the meantime,
ooh child, things are going to get easier. Ooh child, things will get brighter. ”

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